December 24, 2011 | Posted in:Humor
(Composed by our Top Banana and edited by the Big Cheese)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shop,
Not a tool was still working, not even a mop.
The stockings were hung over the welder with care,
In he hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.
The lug nuts were all tightened on the alloys with care
And dreams of Nitrous kits filled the air.
And ma in her Rusty robe and me in my Dale cap
Had just snuggled up for a winter’s nap.
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter.
I tore to the garage door and hit the lights
Wondering who I might have to shoot this of all nights.
The moon shone brightly over the new fallen snow,
As bright as day with a magical glow.
Then what should arrive all red, shiny and good
But a Cummins powered sleigh with 8 reindeer ornaments on the hood.
With a little old driver with a beard like ZZ Top,
I wondered if that rig was gonna quite stop!
More powerful than Reindeer, and no problems with PETA,
The sleigh gets 40mpg and burns biodiesel!
Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen!
Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen,
Have all retired to condos at the South Pole,
Instead of burning hay Santa now rolls coal.
So up to the rooftop the big rig flew,
With toys, and tools, and St. Nicholas, too.
And then with a squeal of slammed brakes,
And turbo spooling down,
on the rooftop I heard the man climb down.
As I pulled in my head, and turned around,
Down the stovepipe St. Nicholas did bound.
He was dressed in all Carhartt, from head down to toe,
With sponsor’s patches everywhere on could go.
A bundle of parts and tools flung on his back,
He looked like a sales rep opening his sample pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He said not a word but went straight to his work.
Filling stockings and tool boxes, and then turned with a jerk,
Laid his finger against his nose and up the stove pipe he rose.
He jumped in the cab and laid some air to the horn
Then sped off into the night in a cloud of black fog.
But I heard him yell back as he sped out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
fastwrecks
Welcome to Sports Car Salvage. We are a niche hobbyist sports car dismantler located in Northeast Ohio, selling parts for C4 & C5 Corvettes, Mazda Miatas, and other sports and performance cars. We also restore diamonds in the rough. Let us help you with your restoration project.
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